3 Quick Writing Tips

By: Keaton Dean (Guest Writer)

I can think of any myriad of ways to have your work go unnoticed and thrown straight into the circular file as uninspired garbage, but there is another tactic, which has proven to be a great deal more fun: get yourself censored. Here's how:

1. Come up with a topic. The less popular, the better.
This is the most difficult part, for me, since there are so many distractions in modern living. Facebook, Youtube, Craigslist...Often times, I find myself waking up repeatedly, a drooling idiot scrolling over the same home-page (in Facebook's case), wondering where my evening went. My advice to you, my esteemed audience, is find something you feel strongly about. Something that makes you look at Facebook and turn your nose up at all the other drooling idiots, mindlessly scrolling up and down their home-pages. Something that makes your blood boil. In my case, this was Corporate America. I decided to write about my experience as a monkey, desperately trying to climb the corporate ladder. Since I had a couple years experience, I decided to offer my advice to anyone who would listen.

2. Think, long and hard, about who your audience will be, and whether or not they would approve of your opinion. Then, write whatever the Hell you want, anyway.
My lead-up into a dead-end position was a long, slow process, with a lot of disappointment along the way. I entered the workplace, as most young people do, with a great deal of hope for my future, only to have that hope reversed by a world designed to frustrate me to the point of walking away from it. Working in an office environment, I find myself constantly immasculated by infantile management, useless HR reps, grade-school-style discipline, complete lack of communication skills (of any kind, written or otherwise), and a client's general attitude of say one thing, do another. I decided to make those same managers and HR reps my audience. Since they refused to see things from my perspective up until this point, they were in for quite the shock to see my views on the Company shared drive. Since this drive is unencrypted and shared by all computers on the network, and since just about every position in my place of employment revolves around the use of a computer, literally anyone had access to my "opinion piece." Back then, I had hope for my Company, and honestly believed my writing would have some, if only minute, positive impact. The point of my using colorful adjectives, and some words that make schoolchildren and the elderly uncomfortable, should be considered moot.

3. Be prepared, nay, welcome your audience's reaction, along with any consequences which may be attached.
As previously stated, I once had a great deal of hope for my future and my Company. Therefore, I was willing to embrace any and all punishment I would earn for my actions. My official punishment, at least for this occurrence, was light. So light, in fact, I decided to post another opinion piece, to ensure management and I were taking each other seriously. There is balance in all things in this universe. In order to get something, you have to give something up. In my case, I gave up my future with that company, successfully locking myself into a dead-end position as a cubicle-jockey. What did I get in return? I got to see my management's, as well as my Company's, true colors. I learned exactly what The Glass Ceiling is and how easily one can reach it.